Bad Habits: 8 Steps To Overcome Negative Behavior

       

Everyone wants good habits. We long to improve ourselves by learning new skills, starting an exercise program, eating more veggies, or simplifying our stuff. I’ve even created a complete habits course teaching the skills of creating positive new habits that stick.

But what about bad habits? What about those behaviors that don’t support your values and undermine self-esteem? We don’t want these behaviors sticking around. Maybe it’s smoking, drinking too much, or indulging in too much junk food. Even silly little habits like hair twirling or cracking knuckles don’t add anything positive to our lives.

Bad habits impact your life in dramatic and insidious ways. Some can harm your health and relationships. Others are just annoying. The worst part of having a bad habit is feeling the habit controls you rather than the other way around.

Most of these habits begin innocently enough. When you took that first drag of a cigarette, you probably didn’t even like it. But then you start to associate smoking with socializing, a cup of coffee, or a cocktail. Over time, not only your brain craves a cigarette, but your body does as well.

Other bad habits don’t involve physical addictions, but they do involve the same trigger, craving, and reward cycle as smoking. Something triggers the urge to perform the bad habit — like stress or shopping. The trigger makes you crave the habit so strongly that the urge overwhelms your resolve. Once you act, you get the immediate reward — stress release, a nicotine fix, etc.

When you realize you’ve developed a full-fledged bad habit, you go through the frustrating exercise of trying to break it. Some people will “cold turkey” their way through the break-up, but for most of us this method doesn’t work. We go rushing back to our habit the minute the going gets rough.

Breaking bad habits is difficult because it involves not only dropping an old behavior, but also creating a new habit to replace it. This requires changing your brain chemistry. You’ve created deep grooves in your brain over time with your bad habit. Those neural pathways can never be undone, but you can create new, stronger pathways and redirect your behavior. You just need to teach your brain to prefer the good habits over the bad.

Here are 8 steps to overcome bad habits and rewire your brain to support new positive habits:

1. Determine the bad habit

Like most of us, you probably have several bad habits you want to drop. Start with an “easier” bad habit that doesn’t involve a physical addiction — something like biting your nails or checking your email too often. Use this bad habit to learn the skills before you move on to something harder.

2. Track your triggers

For a week, carry a small notebook with you or use your smartphone to track the trigger for your habit. You have a trigger or cue established, so you need to figure out what it is. Ask yourself these questions:

What time is it?

Where am I?

Who else is around?

What did I just do?

What emotion am I feeling?

Pinpoint the answers that remain the same every time you feel the urge to perform your bad habit, and you’ll identify your trigger.

3. Determine your craving

Once you’ve pinpointed the trigger for your habit, determine what craving the habit satisfies. Is it stress relief? The desire for a crunchy snack? You’re feeling bored? You developed this bad habit for a reason, so drill down to the emotions and longings you are satisfying when you perform it.

4. Find a replacement

This is the most important step. You want to find a positive substitute for your bad habit. It’s helpful if the substitute can at least partially satisfy your craving. For example, if you crave crunchy salty chips, you replace them with carrots or a small handful of almonds. If you bite your nails when you’re nervous, you could create a new habit of deep breathing instead.

Another strategy is to substitute a behavior that is the total opposite of your bad habit. For example, if you want to eat a bowl of ice cream, go for a long walk instead.

5. Find hidden triggers

As you practice replacing your bad habit with your new positive habit, you might discover hidden triggers you’ve forgotten about or didn’t recognize. You may need different replacement habits for each trigger, and you’ll need to plan ahead for these.

For example you might have a bad habit of biting your nails while watching TV, and your replacement habit is to do sit-ups instead. But then you notice you bite your nails while sitting in a movie. You can’t do sit-ups, but you could give yourself a hand massage instead.

You can test various replacement habits to see which is the best substitute for your bad habit.

6. Create accountability and support

You need support and accountability to stay on track. Ask a friend or family member to be your go-to person when you feel weak. Create public accountability on social media or through email to announce your habit successes and failures. Try to stay away from people who might sabotage your efforts or tempt you to break your resolve.

7. Wait out your urges

When you first begin replacing a good habit for a bad one, your urges will be very strong. You’ll want to cave in, but just wait a bit longer. You are stronger than your urges, and they will get weaker over time. Practice your new habit. Try to distract yourself. Phone a friend.

8. Be patient and kind

This method of dropping bad habits can work if you stick to it, but you will likely fall of the wagon a few times before you’re completely successful. If you do, don’t judge yourself harshly or use the misstep as an excuse to quit. Just do better next time. During the time you work on your bad habit, try to minimize your alcohol intake or any substance that weakens your judgement and resistance.

You don’t have to allow bad habits to blemish your behavior and erode your quality of life. You are stronger than your urges and capable of changing your behavior through mindful planning and preparation.

Set yourself up for success by learning more about your bad habits and what triggers them. Develop positive new habits to fill the void. Seek out support and accountability to help you stay the course. Old habits may die hard, but you can make it much easier by bringing good habits to life.

I hope you will start to implement crucial steps to get rid of bad habits and practice new habits to overcome your negative behavior and please share this post with your friends and family- check out the post here: http://www.barriedavenport.com/2014/09/22/bad-habits/